Yellow...

That's the color of my mood or should I say how I want it to always be. I told a little sad story about a girl who was raped by four men when she was a teenager, horrible story. she lost her virginity to a middle finger, honestly i find that part of the story hilarious. She got FUCKED UP!

you wanna know something funny? I like the English accent so much that whenever I'm reading a book or writing a poem or handling any form of literature I read it in my mind like an English woman would, even the laughs.

Anyway, I found that I have began to ask myself questions. I've never been the type to seek answers or ask about people's pasts etcetera, at the end you would be amazed at the things you would find. These questions are not the type you could just answer like "yes or no", the kind you ponder on forever. "Do we make the moments in our lives or do the moments in our lives make us?", "What is the purpose of purpose?","what is important; what we become or how we become it?"

I'm sitting here, thinking... to go all out or not?

FUCK, this is my blog and i would do with it as I please...

I want a cat and a cactus plant, a cat because i want to understand the feeling of being abandoned and a cactus plant because... you know, it wouldn't need me, they only need watering once a year... its excellent!

It's the election season here and I couldn't be bothered, call me selfish but the sun and people and the dis-organisation etcetera etcetera.... yeah I'm actually rolling my eyes at the thought. I hate politics, I hate the news, I hate to know the badness in the world, hell I cant even handle mine, I'd burst out trying to figure out these things, i definitely would.

Some seriousness now, it'll be easier for you to feel like the only one who's lonely, struggling, unsatisfied, maybe frustrated but I found out that feeling is a lie! Some people just need a little push, some support, a hand to hold, shoulders to hug or an extra ear to hear the tunes life plays and to remind them that it wont always be this way.

The crappy thing about sadness is how we cant control it, you know it'll be okay but you cant stop thinking about the matter. What I do when I feel the urge to cry I cry it out, knowing that it wont hurt so much in my chest if I let my eyes bleed it out.

We begin life as innocents with few obligations; homework, TV, sleep but as we grow it changes, we pledge allegiance to the flag and promise to return the library books and then age comes and we take on bigger vows, we get burdened by our commitments, to do no harm, to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, to love and cherish till death do us part.... we keep running the tap, procrastinating until we owe everything to everyone... is this you?