To Find Reason In Madness...

This morning, I watched the reviews of plays by Shakespeare on TV and the one that caught my attention was Hamlet, the longest and, in my opinion, one of the most powerful tragedies ever written. Some people say that it sort of a story of early England based on lies, deceit, Lust for power and Pride. I cannot wait to read the story to a child and explain the religious, philosophical, psychoanalytic and feminist parts... Just as my dad did to me with Macbeth.

To find reason in madness, to justify exaggeration, to make believe that something isn't what it is and try to give it meanings that follow our standards. We can start with Love as painted in the movie, Titanic. Madness, simply put, is an exaggeration of character in this context, most of the time caused by a weakness, a need for something that creates an obsession.

I get a headache when i think about love, it's exhausting and sometimes a waste of time. At first, he said "I do" or something like that and now what it seems to be is "I did say", used to be "US" now it don't even feel like "you and I"... "you" and "I", used to be jealous of my friends and fill my wee(a)kends, now he's laying blame on my lap and delaying on conclusions. I meant what I said when he wasn't listening, sad thing is I may not be there to say it again to his hearing... It's exhausting! I'm tired of bargaining for affection and feeling guilty every time I see his people, I gain satisfaction from knowing what I'm doing, I thrive on possibilities and certainty. He has his mind made up, he's seen his idea of perfection and sits around telling me I need an excuse to go, he says he loves me but can't show me loving, wants out but keeps me in. Patience runs thin as i go through emotions, I need to be with him but the distance between us is shattering, I cry oceans, tears become orphans as my soul leaves it's apartment... back and forth. I need to lie down, the silence is too loud so I turn the music up but the lyrics remind me of LOVE. What should I do, whom shall I tell? Mommy says forget it and run as fast as you can, when you think you reached that POINT look beside you and smile, he'll be by your side but I'm scared to try alone. What if I fall, who's gonna pick me up? What if I get tired of running, who's gonna cheer me back to the race? The Migrane.... madness, where is my reason?