When I was a kid, my uncle would say to me and my siblings "say when!" whenever he was poured anything into a glass for us and of course we never did. We don't say when because there's something about the possibility of more, more ribena, more juice and as we get older more money, more tequila, more love, more anything, more is better.I guess there's still something to be said about a glass half full, maybe it's just half empty. Who knows when to say when? Who's going to say when? Who wants to say when? I think it's a floating line, like drawing a graph of need against desire- where need is "x" and desire is "y" and everything is entirely up to the individual. Sometimes there's no such thing as enough, the glass is bottomless and all we want is MORE!
I'm thinking childhood memories and having a laugh, people never really get old they just grow to a stage where somethings become cooler than some other things. I know I'm still pretty much as childish as I was in primary 5 just need the right people to bring out that amount of clumsy. You know when you were a kid and believed in fairy tales? That ultimate fantasy of what you thought your life would be- white dress, black tuxedo, on his knees with a rose between his lips, the castle on a hill? Those times you'd lie in bed, smiling with total faith in Father Christmas, the tooth fairy, prince charming? They were so close you can also touch them but then one day you open your eyes and you feel like you were in some weird dream because reality is so odd, you can't have a grasp of anything. Reality is strange, some people have decided not to go out of the circle they know- mother, father, childhood friends. The truth is nobody has really forgotten that fantasy, everyone is still living with that tiny bit of faith and hope that one day it would all come true. Fate is a funny thing, it turns up when you don't expect, still unprepared. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale maybe slightly different than you had imagined. The castle, well it may just be the parking lot of a hotel or the back seat of a car and the happy ever after... that too maybe happy right now. See once in awhile people will surprise you and once in a very blue moon, people will take your breathe away.
Generally, people are categorized in one of two ways- those who like surprises and those who don't. Well I don't like surprises I like to be in the know, i have to be in the know because I feel like when I'm not I loose control of my tiny grasp on life. Am I rambling? I think I'm rambling, okay that's beside my point which is this: whoever said "what you don't know can't hurt you" was a complete and utter half-wit… that's a bit much, lets say he was irrational because there's a difference between knowing and finding out.I have to know because I like to plan, to prepare for what's coming. I hate being out of composure, not knowing what to do. The first time I woke up without a plan, I almost committed suicide and I'm sure I can't be the only one who's like that. I learned to think like human, flesh and blood and nothing supernatural, I cant make anything happen just because. Sometimes it's better to stay in the dark, in the dark there's fear but there's also hope. Communication is the first thing we really learn in life but here's the thing, once we grew up, learned our words and started talking, it became harder to know what to say or how to ask for what we really need. Maybe life would be a little less complicated if we all could lay our hearts on the plate, bare it all out; the love, hate, anguish, jealousy, anger and humor. There are somethings we just can't help but talk about, somethings we don't want to hear our lips say and somethings we say because we can't be silent any longer. Somethings are more than words, they have become deeds. Somethings we say because we have no other choice and somethings we keep to ourselves because "who cares?". But not too often, every now and then, somethings speak for themselves.
There's a Chinese proverb translated to English means you can't choose your family. You take what fate hands you and like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not, you cope. And then there's the school of thought that the family you're in is a starting point; they love you, feed you, clothe you until you're ready to go out and find your tribe. The question is when… when am I ready?New beginnings, like the sweet smell of cupcakes- a vision of hope. This year, 7th of August precisely, I felt like I inhaled the fresh smell of the hot cake, I promised to let go and I did but somethings wont just rest. Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins anyway, is that something the calendar has to decide? It's not the birthday or the new year or that profound event, it's something that changes us, ideally giving us a hope of a thing greater ahead, looking at the world through a new pair of glasses, letting go of old habits and memories that may pull us back. It's really important that we stay hopeful, keep on believing and understand that amid all the crap a few things are worth holding on to- your decision, be wise!
We all have little superstitious things we do; never sweep your home or whistle at night, we don't step on the cracks on the side walk, never hurt the creepy geckos, or is it the putting on our right shoes first. They say don't walk over crossed legs and when you knock on a wood, step on a crack, you break your mother's back… LOL! The last thing we want to do is offend the gods. These beliefs lie between what we can control and what we can't, find a penny pick it up and all day you'll have good luck… who wants to pass a chance at good luck? But does saying it 3 times before dawn really help and is there anyone really listening at 11:11? I guess we do these things because we're smart enough to know we don't have all the answers, in fact, we don't know anything for sure. Something inside me knows, it knows like it really knows that there's a God and he's watching even so I know not to diss the juju from wherever it comes.
I'm thinking childhood memories and having a laugh, people never really get old they just grow to a stage where somethings become cooler than some other things. I know I'm still pretty much as childish as I was in primary 5 just need the right people to bring out that amount of clumsy. You know when you were a kid and believed in fairy tales? That ultimate fantasy of what you thought your life would be- white dress, black tuxedo, on his knees with a rose between his lips, the castle on a hill? Those times you'd lie in bed, smiling with total faith in Father Christmas, the tooth fairy, prince charming? They were so close you can also touch them but then one day you open your eyes and you feel like you were in some weird dream because reality is so odd, you can't have a grasp of anything. Reality is strange, some people have decided not to go out of the circle they know- mother, father, childhood friends. The truth is nobody has really forgotten that fantasy, everyone is still living with that tiny bit of faith and hope that one day it would all come true. Fate is a funny thing, it turns up when you don't expect, still unprepared. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale maybe slightly different than you had imagined. The castle, well it may just be the parking lot of a hotel or the back seat of a car and the happy ever after... that too maybe happy right now. See once in awhile people will surprise you and once in a very blue moon, people will take your breathe away.
Generally, people are categorized in one of two ways- those who like surprises and those who don't. Well I don't like surprises I like to be in the know, i have to be in the know because I feel like when I'm not I loose control of my tiny grasp on life. Am I rambling? I think I'm rambling, okay that's beside my point which is this: whoever said "what you don't know can't hurt you" was a complete and utter half-wit… that's a bit much, lets say he was irrational because there's a difference between knowing and finding out.I have to know because I like to plan, to prepare for what's coming. I hate being out of composure, not knowing what to do. The first time I woke up without a plan, I almost committed suicide and I'm sure I can't be the only one who's like that. I learned to think like human, flesh and blood and nothing supernatural, I cant make anything happen just because. Sometimes it's better to stay in the dark, in the dark there's fear but there's also hope. Communication is the first thing we really learn in life but here's the thing, once we grew up, learned our words and started talking, it became harder to know what to say or how to ask for what we really need. Maybe life would be a little less complicated if we all could lay our hearts on the plate, bare it all out; the love, hate, anguish, jealousy, anger and humor. There are somethings we just can't help but talk about, somethings we don't want to hear our lips say and somethings we say because we can't be silent any longer. Somethings are more than words, they have become deeds. Somethings we say because we have no other choice and somethings we keep to ourselves because "who cares?". But not too often, every now and then, somethings speak for themselves.
There's a Chinese proverb translated to English means you can't choose your family. You take what fate hands you and like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not, you cope. And then there's the school of thought that the family you're in is a starting point; they love you, feed you, clothe you until you're ready to go out and find your tribe. The question is when… when am I ready?New beginnings, like the sweet smell of cupcakes- a vision of hope. This year, 7th of August precisely, I felt like I inhaled the fresh smell of the hot cake, I promised to let go and I did but somethings wont just rest. Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins anyway, is that something the calendar has to decide? It's not the birthday or the new year or that profound event, it's something that changes us, ideally giving us a hope of a thing greater ahead, looking at the world through a new pair of glasses, letting go of old habits and memories that may pull us back. It's really important that we stay hopeful, keep on believing and understand that amid all the crap a few things are worth holding on to- your decision, be wise!
We all have little superstitious things we do; never sweep your home or whistle at night, we don't step on the cracks on the side walk, never hurt the creepy geckos, or is it the putting on our right shoes first. They say don't walk over crossed legs and when you knock on a wood, step on a crack, you break your mother's back… LOL! The last thing we want to do is offend the gods. These beliefs lie between what we can control and what we can't, find a penny pick it up and all day you'll have good luck… who wants to pass a chance at good luck? But does saying it 3 times before dawn really help and is there anyone really listening at 11:11? I guess we do these things because we're smart enough to know we don't have all the answers, in fact, we don't know anything for sure. Something inside me knows, it knows like it really knows that there's a God and he's watching even so I know not to diss the juju from wherever it comes.
well this is interesting but it's just LOOOONG...ahn ahn, what a busy mind you have!
ReplyDeleteit's a good one, but i think you should learn about paragraphing. not just on this but with other posts. I must also commend your fascinating mind.
ReplyDelete